- Roommate (I.A.) takes his mash potatoes out of the microwave and checks to see if it is hot by placing his tounge on it.
- Me: What the? Why did you do that?
- I.A.: I check how hot it is with my tounge.
- Me: I usually just use my finger.
- (Pause broken by laughter)
How hard is it to understand that I’m not wearing cheap glasses? And how hard is it to see that I wasn’t happy to see my expensive glasses, that I spent so much time to save up, get ruined because of you being a complete idiot? I don’t care anymore if you want to “teach” jujitsu. You were never a good teacher, you were pretty much using me as your test dummy to try out new holds. That’s why you have that one week free pass. So you can train with people that actually want to deal with you. And that is why I have yet to mention about getting a one week free pass myself. Because I would not be able to deal with you for the whole week. I can’t even work out with you because you are way too high up your own pedestal that you think I want to hear you tell me when to stop doing one workout and begin another.
And I seriously love how you act like I won’t do shit if you break my glasses. Trust me, if I get told that I need to pay something, I will not be spending a single dime. Hope you saved enough money for your XBOX360 fund, because I will using that money if you break my glasses.
You really have to be thickheaded to not understand that. Even after I told you that it cost $250 over 9000 times. And you have the nerve to say “stop bragging about how much it cost”. That is not bragging, that is warning your ass of how much you will have to spend if you keep up your faggottry.
Oh, and by the way, Richard Moore. I’m not sure if you were the one who placed lots of shoes out in front of my door or if it was my other roommate, but I don’t see how you didn’t think I wouldn’t blame you first. Even your counter argument wouldn’t help, “why would I place his shoes there?” Woah! Blew my mind away, man! Who would have thought that would clear you from this? And if I’m wrong, I don’t mind. We all make bad deductions, especially you. You just do it more often.
P.S. Don’t ever try pushing me back to my room. I actually pay to say that I own a part of that common area. Can’t say the same about you, though. Hate to be “that guy”, but you are being worse than Karen, so I could honestly care less now.
Awkwardness destroyed by the laughter of friends who actually cooperate together like a family. What a beautiful sound to hear. Especially when I know that you are secretly raging right now. It was hard for me to be “that guy”, especially when no one else volunteered to be the “sacrificial lamb” in this situation. In fact, living with you these past couple of months made me want to be that guy.
But don’t worry, hearing you say ”don’t tell me that I didn’t do anything” made things a lot easier for me. Even stuttering as you come up with excuses to defend your case. However, do you really think I would “accuse” someone of something without anything to back it up? No. I’m not the “Richard Moore” of the group, I actually have stuffs to back up what I claim. I happily walked over to get the proof I needed, just a simple box. A box of replacement swiffer duster. An unopen box, I will add. I guess you can say that this was my “next Conan hint”. Yep….more Case Closed puns.
What really irked me is hearing your defense to that. “I dusted the floor”. Sir, that is called sweeping. Someone already did that job. Is that the best that you can come up with? Do I need to get someone to teach you how to correctly use a duster? Really though, how are you still just going to sit there and claim that you are contributing some work like the rest of us in the apartment after I showed you proof that you are not doing anything? Is that your pride showing? Or is that stupidity?
I really do hope that you realize that you are being a complete douchebag in this place, and no one likes that. And when you realize that, you can then come to the realization that maybe you should leave and find another group of roommates that you can be lazy around. And I hope that when that happens, it will be soon because I know someone who would love to take your room.
- Bro: Oh, hey is just acting weird because we got some ants in the house and they must have bit him in the mouth.
- Me: Oh, that is your diagnosis?
- Bro: Yes....
- Me: Are you a certified vet?
- Bro: F**k you! *hangs up phone*
- Ian: J would actually think you are serious about it.
- Me: Well, when he is done telling me about runescape, I will just ask...."So.....how's life?"
- Ian: *starts laughing*
- Me: Got any level 99 skills in life? Because...uh....I have a level 99 high school diploma.
- Ian: *laughs harder* You have learned well.
What has been bothering me lately is how certain things are being run. I feel like pointing it out, but what can I do? Especially when up against a controlling person and a person on a high pedestal? Sure, I can always kick them off their high horse, but what is stopping them from getting back on?
Where is the equality when there is a rule about “personal belongings in the living room” and yet, I see some personal portrait on the floor, two guitars, and some guitar stereo? I consider even the game consoles as “personal belongings”. But at least those game consoles entertain any guest who decide to visit. So, no one is going to rage over your personal belongings in the living room, but if I leave a small 3-4 inch star plush on the table….all hell breaks loose. I did not realize that you are paying extra to say that you own the common area.
And all of these god damn shoes on the floor! I can understand why this started, since I am now in a room that used to be empty. Who cares about a hallway that leads to an empty room? However, I now live here. I care if there are shoes scattered in the hallway. Especially if the light switch for the hallway and my room door is in two different sides of the apartment. Either start saving up for a new shoe rack or start putting your shoes in your closet. Or at least don’t act surprised if you find your shoe missing and thrown out the damn door in the middle of the night.
I also love how when a new problem presents itself, it is either my friend or me who gets blamed for it. Missing bowl? Let us check my room without my permission and find no bowl in sight……but let us still blame me for it. Oh wait, guess what? Your girlfriend put the bowl in the fridge. How sad are you to know that you failed in that accusation? At least I can actually blame you for something. Messing up my glasses just because you are not clever enough to think of a comeback. Oh and to make me shut up about it, you tried saying that I won’t get any rides to work and I should start taking the bus. I doubt that, I think you owe me either a new pair of glasses or at least $250 worth of free rides. Forget that, I think I would save a lot more money if I just invest on monthly bus passes and getting a bike. Like my dad said, “can’t put too much trust on someone”.
One last thing before I go. When I think this guy can’t get any more annoying….he proves me wrong. The “Miguel’s shuffle”? Are you high? When did I ever walked like some damn penguin? Sir, I have weak ankles, not stiff legs. How about I make fun of how annoying you are? Oh wait….you are already doing a good job at making yourself look like a huge laughing stock.
I can understand that we all have our faults. The only way for you to better yourself as a person is to understand your faults and try to improve on that. I kept bringing plates in my room because I’m hungrier at night. That annoyed certain people, so I solved it by buying my own plates and cups. Now it is your turn to try and improve yourself.
But I guess we can’t all have our cake and eat it, too. Until I see some changes, I guess all I could do is “deal with it”. Then again, I hate waiting. Especially when this kind of thing has been going on since I first arrived here.
Now that I got a tumblr, I feel like spamming with rage blogs. I could care less if I’m new and I have barely any followers. Rage on rage on rage.